Contributors: Yma, Amicitia, FuzzyElfMirage, Yodelbean, Scribbler, Idsunki, InterNutter, Greg
This is a list of 101 things that Kurt has promised himself never to do. Some will be common sense, some he may have learned from experience.
1. Shave.
2. Go out with Toad.
3. Kiss Rogue.
4. Call Magneto 'bucket head'.
5. Allow Jubilee anywhere near electrical
instruments.
6. Take Scott's glasses off.
7. Think rude thoughts around Jean.
8. Think any thoughts around the Professor.
9. Eat anything made by Kitty.
10. Allow tail to become trapped in door.
11. Challenge Pietro to a race.
12. Get between Blob and food.
13. Let Kitty get behind the wheel of
a car.
14. Annoy Logan.
15. 'Port into girls' showers (no matter
how tempting).
16. Refuse food (except in situation #9).
17. Buy Mystique a Mother's Day gift.
18. Leave home wearing nothing but holowatch.
19. Walk into church, without holowatch,
proclaiming myself son of Satan.
20. Dye myself neon pink.
21. Allow tail to be used as belt, jump
rope, clothes line, cat toy, etc.
22. Answer The Question.
23. Wear a dress.
24. Stand on the ceiling while wearing
a dress.
25. Drink Tabasco sauce. Even on a dare.
26. Agree to work as cart horse or sled
dog.
27. Accept the role of 'rug' or 'trophy
head' in any dramatic work.
28. Perform practical jokes while low
on energy.
29. Borrow anyone else's pants. They do
not appreciate my tailoring work.
30. Allow self to be rescued by Tabitha.
31. Remain in any situation involving
a screaming person and a blunt instrument.
32. Chase tail.
33. Grow horns.
34. Use Nair.
35. Pose for Bobby as an ice sculpure.
36. Wear a collar.
37. Volunteer to be target-practice for
Magma.
38. 'Port into a wall or equally solid
object.
39. Suddenly reveal myself to be Sean
Godfrey, of 12 The Glebe, Walsall.
40. Ask Logan where he goes when he rides
off into the distance on his motorbike (internal organs too precious for
that).
41. Play dodge-ball with Jamie.
42. Try to take milk from Evan.
43. Dry fur with hairdryer - would never
live down puffball and tumble dryer jokes.
44. Bark.
45. Let Kitty use self as clothes doll
for dress alterations.
46. Get Ray mad without available exit
or food nearby.
47. Get Roberto mad while the sun is out.
48. Get Logan mad when... aw, hell, see
number 14. It's a good enough reason on its own
49. Chew on a pen.
50. Chew on a pencil - splinters.
51. Scratch self vigorously while in Kitty's
room. She does not find shed fur attractive.
52. Attempt to escape an angry Kitty by
locking doors.
53. Pretend not to speak English. No one
is fooled.
54. Leave body parts where they are likely
to be stepped on.
55. Leap gracefully off a wall without
first disengaging all limbs from the surface.
56: Go on a diet.
57: Touch, or even look at, Logan's motorcycle.
58: Sit in toyshop window pretending to
be stuffed toy.
59: Pretend I'm French.
60: Use hair gel; results can be... unfortunate.
61: Go near a cookie jar, I remember the
last times... ALL of them.
62. Use holowatch to impersonate famous
people.
63. Allow Professor to 'fix' holowatch.
64. Accept fur-care advice from anyone
who has not personally spent time being furry.
65. Teleport. (Written
during 'Shadow Dance' and later crossed out.)
65b. Accept invitations from mysterious
people. Especially when they ask me to come to an out-of-the-way place.
Especially without bringing a trusted adult.
66. Teleport while moving at high speeds.
67. Consider piercing ear-points.
68. Play with my tail while at school.
It causes others to think of words that I do not want associated with myself.
69. Teleport into the middle of conversations.
The others do not enjoy repeating for my benefit.
70. Sleep with Scott.
71. Touch anything made by Forge.
72. Wear tight-waisted outfits. They make
the girls want to strangle me.
73. Steal Jubilee's gum (singed fur not
nice).
74. Get Amara mad without handy fire-extinguisher
nearby.
75. 'Port near open flames (can you say,
KA-BOOM!?).
76. Use webcam without holowatch.
77. Attempt to jump a gorge on a skateboard
wearing only a purple cape n' cowl for protection.
78. Get between Rahne and a frisbee.
79. Use a can of whipped cream as a weapon.
80. Mention noodles when around Lance,
Duncan Matthews, or similar.
81. Get drunk (not pretty - ooh, my *head*!).
82. Try to teach Evan traditional German
dance.
83. Perform a handstand while naked, even
for a bet.
84. Answer questions about which goes
to which side.
85. Try to teach Logan the cuteness factor
of Tribbles.
86. Try to get a secret pet around Ororo.
87. Go to Burpengary, Australia without
suitable protection.
88. Serenade under Kitty's window with
a guitar.
89. 'Port into a rosebush (Ouchie! Thorns!).
90. Eat a kruller that is less than size
of own head.
91. Clasp rose between teeth in attempt
to look dashing without removing all thorns first.
92. Howl in public.
93. Wear a gymnast's outfit at school.
Makes the girls want to jump me and (nearly) all the guys want to kill
me.
94. Wear perfume. Can have *disturbing*
effects.
95. NEVER *EVER* combine those last two!
96. Join a Friends Of Humanity rally.
97. Get nits (or lice).
98. Admit to once being infested with
fleas.
99. Go to a sleep-over at the Brotherhood
house.
100. Make my hologram female (like the
Professor did once) and go around the entire day asking people to call
me Kurtette.
101. Do Britney Spears impression.
And...
102. Become a character in an excellent
cartoon series so that people can write fanfic about me which puts me in
unpleasant/compromising situations. (: