We begin with a brief review of Self Possessed, and a repeat of the last scene in Mindbender.

Scene: A building with a fence around it, at night.

A dark figure (Gambit) runs towards the fence. He pulls out his staff and pole vaults into the grounds. He approaches a big window, draws a smiley face with his finger, and the whole thing vaporizes. He pulls out a spray can and uses it to reveal security laser things all over the room. Then he starts pulling pieces of his staff out of everywhere. He jumps to a little table, holds up his staff, and shoots out the ends so they stick in the walls. He hangs from the middle piece of the staff, presses a button, and it carries him to the far end of the room. He leans down and draws a circle on the floor.

Someone is lying in bed. At the explosion, they stretch their wings, then apparently go back to sleep.

Gambit drops down the hole into another room.

Warren is awake now.

Gambit approaches a pedestal with a thingie on it.

Warren: See something you like?

Gambit throws something explodey at Warren, then escapes with the thingie. He vaults back over the fence and walks to the street, where he gives the thingie to a caped figure. Now Warren (shirtless ^_^) is flying over them. The figure (Mesmero) gives him a psychic blast, and he falls to the ground.

Roll credits!

The bars of the fence begin to shake and move. Mesmero tries to escape, but the bars plunge into the ground around him, forming a cage.

Magneto (flying down): Whoever you are, you've got courage. Not everyone would hypnotize one of mine to do their stealing.

Mesmero tries to use his powers on Magneto.

Magneto: Your psychic blasts do not work on me.

Mesmero glances at Gambit, who whips out a flaming card. The bars tighten around him.

Magneto: Release your mental hold on Gambit! Now!
Mesmero: All right.

Gambit's card de-energizes, and he rubs his head.

Gambit: Where am I?

Magneto bends the bars and takes the thingie from Mesmero.

Magneto: And as for this relic...let's find out if it was really worth it.

Magneto flies away. The whole chunk of ground under Mesmero pulls up and follows. Gambit walks away, and Warren wakes up.

Warren: Magneto...

Scene: Behind the Institute.

Well, look at that. It's a game of no-powers baseball. Or at least it's supposed to be...
Jean, who for some reason has her hair done up like Kitty's, is getting ready to pitch. Scott, playing catcher, insults Bobby, who's up to bat. Jean throws the ball, and Bobby uses his powers to ice up the bat and make it bigger. After that, it's more or less a free-for-all.
Jean uses her telekinesis to stop the pitch so she can swing at it; Amara flames up her pitch; Roberto uses his powers to hit the ball out of the park; Kurt teleports to catch a fly ball; Kitty phases through the baseman; Scott destroys first base; etc.
Suddenly there's a shadow over the field, and everyone stops to look up. Warren lands on the pitcher's mound.

Scott: Angel? What's going on?
Warren: I must see Professor Xavier, immediately.

Scene: Magneto's base.

Mastermind is trying to find out what Mesmero knows. He tells Magneto that there is another half of the relic, in a museum in London. He needs more time to find out what it does.
Magneto is impatient and spins the chair Mesmero is sitting in. Apparently this makes him so dizzy that his powers are weakened. Mastermind does his thing, and we get to watch the door opening in Mindbender again. Mastermind tells Magneto that the relic will open a door and release the most powerful mutant ever...Apocalypse.

Scene: Institute downstairs.

A picture of Mesmero is on the screen.

Xavier: This is the man you saw?
Warren: You don't forget a face like that.

Kitty and Amara are watching through the door. Bobby joins them.

Bobby: Checking out the new guy?

Despite their somewhat skimpy baseball uniforms, the girls are apparently so embarrassed by this question that they leave.

Warren asks why Mesmero would use someone else to steal something. Answer?

Xavier: Because that's what he does.

Brilliant. Xavier talks a little about how Mesmero did the same thing to Jean to steal the three rings, which formed a key to...something. Anyway, this relic, the Spider Stone, might also open a door when the two halves are put together. Since Magneto wants the Stone, it must be something evil, and therefore the X-Men have to get it first.
Bobby's all for it. Too bad missions are only for those who follow rules.

Bobby: I'd totally keep it in check for a full-on mission, really! Just give me one chance! Aww...

Scene: Magneto's base.

Magneto is mad about something. He's not happy to find out that Mesmero and the relic have disappeared.

Mastermind: Magneto, if he joins those two stones-
Magneto: That is *not* going to happen! We're going to London.

Commercial break!

Scene: Institute infirmary.

Rogue is still here, just lying in bed. Kurt teleports in with a tray.

Kurt: Up for dinner?
Rogue: Kurt!
Kurt: Spicy enchilada and black beans covered in Kitty's special sauce.
Rogue: It's not enough my head hurts, you want me to toss my stomach too?
Kurt: Here, have some.
Rogue: Where's Logan?
Kurt: He and Storm went to find our loving mother. And the others have jetted off to London, so Kitty and I are your caregivers.
Rogue: Go away.
Kurt: Hey, is that any way to talk to your little brother?
Rogue: We're *not* related! She might have given birth to you, but she only adopted me.
Kurt: Now that's just denial talking. Either way, sis, we're in this together. I'm there for you. Now, I'll have Kitty make you an anchovy-jalapeno pizza instead. *bamf*

Scene: London.

The Velocity flies in and lands on top of a parking tower. The museum looks quiet, maybe they're the first ones to arrive.

Xavier: Cyclops, would you inform our stowaway we've arrived?
Scott: Stowaway?

He goes to the back of the helicopter and opens a cabinet. Bobby is inside eating potato chips.

Scott: Have anything to say for yourself?
Bobby: Yeah...that's the last time I fly no-frills.
Scott: Uh-huh. Come on, let's go.

Scene: The museum.

The doors blow open, and Magneto enters with four lackeys.

Magneto: Fan out. Secure the building.

In the security office, a guard is playing Solitaire. He hears the alarm and gets on his walkie-talkie.

Guard: Someone check that out? I'm on break.

Gambit (throws a card onto the table): Need an Ace of Clubs, monsieur?

The card explodes, throwing the guard against a cabinet. Gambit prods him in, closes the door, and blocks it with a chair. All with his staff.
As he walks back past the table, he places the 5 of Hearts on the 6 of Spades.

In a hallway, another guard is walking past suits of armor when he notices one looks a little different. Um...it's Colossus. We don't see what happens next.

A third guard is being chased by a flaming horse and rider, and Pyro, laughing maniacally as usual. The horse turns into a Big Scary Face, and the guard hides in a closet.

Pyro (melting the lock): That's right, mate. We'll be out of here in five.

Scene: Outside the museum.

Bobby ices up as he walks.

Bobby: Oh yeah. Definitely the cool team.
Scott: Looks like Magneto's already let himself in.
Beast (to Bobby): Stay close.
Bobby: Don't worry, I've got your back.
Beast: You don't have my back. You don't have a clue.

Sabertooth is walking down a hallway. He sees a silhouette outside the window. Jean uses her powers to wrap him in a curtain.
Upstairs, Magneto waves his fingers, and the elevator pulls out of its shaft.
Warren flies into the museum. Bobby makes an ice slide through the roof and follows Beast down it. Sabertooth breaks out of the curtain.
Scott steps forward and blasts Sabertooth, who flies backward into Colossus. Ow.

Pyro: Hello. We've got X-Men.
Gambit (pulls out two cards): And I think they want to play!

Gambit starts throwing cards, which Warren avoids. He uses his wings to blow two of them back towards Gambit. They explode a pole, which Colossus catches and throws at Scott, who uses his lasers to destroy it.
Meanwhile, Sabertooth picks up the information booth and throws it at Beast, but Bobby blocks with an ice wall.

Bobby: Like I said...Iceman's got your back.
Jean: Beast, tuck and roll!
Beast (curls up): Let 'er fly!

Jean throws Beast at Sabertooth, who's now holding something else.
Elsewhere, Magneto is chasing Mesmero with a deranged elevator.
Warren flies at Gambit, who counters with his staff. Pyro makes a fire-angel. Bobby vaults over the balcony railing, ice-slides across the room, and freezes Pyro's flamethrowers. Pyro loses his concentration, and the fire-angel disappears.
Mesmero reaches the room with the other half of the Spider Stone, but the elevator catches him, drags him inside, and then crushes itself.
Magneto enters the room. The two halves of the relic swirl around, join, and begin to glow.

Commercial break!

The relic forms into a giant green spider. Magneto concentrates all his power on holding it back, but it is barely affected. It crashes through the wall and jumps down to the parking lot where Xavier is, trampling some cars.
Mesmero breaks down the elevator door, crawls out, and runs the other way.
Now Magneto is at the doors with his team.

Magneto: I don't care what it takes, destroy that spider!
Xavier: Magnus, stop! We don't know anything about it.
Magneto: I know enough. That's one key that won't be unlocking *any* doors.

Xavier orders his team to capture and protect the spider, and they run off.

Okay, Colossus is chasing the spider. Everywhere it's run through a wall, he feels the need to make his own hole. He catches up and tackles it. The spider pulls him off with a leg, seems to drain his energy, and throws him away.
Sabertooth jumps off a roof and beats the spider over the head with a log. The spider is not impressed, and throws him away too.
Pyro makes a ring of flame around the spider.

Pyro: Yeah, barbecued spider! Specialty of the house. *calls back his flames* It's gone down under!

Note: Okay, that's it. As cute as Pyro's accent is, he isn't allowed to speak anymore until the writers quit giving him stupid cliche lines.

The spider burrows underground, goes beneath Pyro, and continues out into the water. (The Thames?) Gambit sees it and follows.

Back at the museum, Xavier meets Mesmero. A telepathic battle ensues, and we get to watch the door-opening scene once more. Then Mesmero is gone.

Xavier: Vanished...Apocalypse.

Jean uses her powers to lift the spider out of the water. Somehow it throws the psychic bubble back at her and continues on its way.
Scott catches Jean, then shoots around the spider.

Jean: Scott, don't damage it.
Scott: Just trying to slow it down.

Then he shoots directly at it, to no effect whatsoever.

Beast: Iceman, bridge us over.

Bobby makes a big ice bridge, and they all cross.
On the other side, the spider is rampaging. London citizens scream, have traffic accidents, etc.
Gambit has gotten hold of a double-decker bus. He turns it over and jumps out as the spider is run down. Then he energizes the whole thing and lets it explode.

Gambit: I do believe that slowed it down.
Magneto: Just long enough.

Magneto flies down to the spider, who is rising out of the flames.

Xavier: Don't do it, Magnus! Do *not* destroy it!
Magneto: I must!

He uses all his power to seal the spider back into its Stone.

Xavier: You've done the very thing Mesmero wanted.
Magneto: No. The key has been destroyed.
Xavier: He knew only you had the power to do it. That was not merely a key; it was a guardian, designed to prevent Apocalypse's release. With its destruction, the second door will now open. He used you, Magnus, from the beginning.
Warren: It was headed directly southeast.
Beast: But where was it going?
Xavier: I don't know, but it's in our best interest to find out. Because when Mesmero finds the third and final key, the world as we know it will change forever.

Scene: Apocalypse's shrine.

The second door glows and opens, revealing...

The End

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