You know those improv games where a couple of the people get up and say stuff, each saying one word at a time? Well, Amicitia, Klutz, Bobtheflamingmoogle, InterNutter, LeDiz, Greg, Yma, Meredith, Scribbler, Neemers, Kiki, Psystorm, Shkspr1048, Nandireya, Aquana, Blinks, Eileen, Christa Winters, Tergon, Kara, Beboots, The Crawler, The Spammer, Moxy, Silver Queen, Blah, Malk, Eleke, Dan R, Taekwondodo, data_xtreme, Blarkle, coolkitty, Alliriyan, InsanePenman, Lyra Silvertongue, Danfred, Crimsonshadow, Telyn, Barbarian_gotrek, Skytzo Franic, desolate_joker, Daedalus, WolfStar, Key, StarDancer101, orangatan64, Kakegoddes, z, AgentWD40, Jack B. Nimble, Radical Nike, and CrazyLady thought it would be fun to play.
WARNING: None of these people necessarily endorse any of the activities mentioned below. Do not try these at home.
And now, without further ado, the NutGang proudly presents
Rules of the Institute (One Word At a Time)
1. No running after Kurt if indecently or halfway into yoga.
2. Monkeys may consume runny versions of dinner. Kitty's cupcakes shatter the penguin's dreams only when the eggplant blooms pink lizards.
3. There are only a few hundred Jamies, but never in one place unless someone accidentally ignites Pietro.
4. Logan knows everything about It, yet he won't impart garnered cheese.
5. Hank has complete impotency.
6. All mutants have to date unless afflicted with scurvy.
7. Fruit flies are not sexy unless Kurt has covered all the windows with fur.
8. Don't let Scott out without the green headband or festive tights.
9. Ororo eats oreos but can not lick the filling.
10. Kitty should only ever have access to the flaming car when under sedation.
11. Direct sunlight leaves a lot of spiders out of macaroni and Twinkies.
12. Jubilee must never sing under potted aspidistras unless otherwise occupied.
13. Once upon a trampoline, don't allow Kurt to eat PBLTBJ's unless there is ample supply of lime pickles.
14. Camcorders must always be screened by Logan because gorillas often smash everything underwater.
15. One banana must always stay on Prozac unless Scott wears three pigtails.
16. School holidays keep moving until Amara creates hibiscus balls using cheese and broccoli florets artistically.
17. Telepathy shouldn't involve doorknobs unless Jean supervises trolls wearing polka-dotted lederhosen.
18. Upstairs games must include Kurt juggling Kitty and Lance three times.
19. Running naked past Kurt with Jean results in inappropriate lectures and lightning bugs zapping noodles at everyone within four cubits.
20. Geckos sitting sideways on Scott's windscreen for longer than twenty minutes will cause angelfish to erratically appear in Logan's pants.
21. Axes shall never appear without Ororo's blessing, for Brazil must secede from Roberto's closet.
22. Power increases monkeys doing mambos near hotplates that are melting rabbits named Pishy owned by Rogue.
23. Summer musicals include phantom limbs of dragonflies that eat Toad poop on Magneto's orbs every Monday.
24. Chandeliers are not intended for swinging mutants.
25. Poison sumac is for tormenting Pietro's sister whenever she throws his undergarments out on the front of Lance's helmet.
26. Putting love pudding on Jean's shoes will result in rabid Jeans.
27. Allowing Amara to ice skate naked causes nosebleeds in numerous Beasts.
28. Making Kitty lick Opa's brushes might result in hairballs.
29. Chibi Professor Xaviers dance Macarenas with Logan and Hank when naked gorillas frolic with Storm's banyan or tomatoes is expected to mambo.
30. Pocket-Sized-Kurts engage Plush-Lockheeds in evil Morris dancing prior to anyone's birthday.
31. Forge wears Logan's socks when lemurs attack jumping Scott or Evan while doing laundry for Kitty or Jubilee on Tuesdays.
32. Pirate flags must remain in boxes labelled as Kitty's bras so nobody eats Marmite or Vegemite such as the world named Dwayne.
33. Halloween pumpkins are carved only twice in season but can roll towards Evan's skateboard if Lance wiggles and shrieks, "Kiss only Wubbles!"
34. Between insanity and reality is Oklahoma where the bamfs down to Eastern shores where Nokomis dance the tango wearing sombreros made by Fred from Brotherhood leftovers.
35. Asparagus cakes like to sing operas such as "Die, Smurfs, in Unlikely Classics".
36. Kitty can't cook anything!
37. Swashbuckling blue elves should rescue wonderfully infected damsels in distress of Illinois origin.
38. Cookies mustn't be avoided when Jean regurgitates them whole.
39. All Kurtty-related moments must contain fluff among the ardent sardine sandwiches flogging the students.
40. Is not kinky because Logan shouldn't see the sexual muffins of doom... again.
41. Berzerker must avoid every mosquito in the CN Tower because Principal Darkholme will eat anybody who dances.
42. Flannel pants may explode without prior warning.
43. Jean shouldn't watch Teletubbies ever!
44. Beans must kill Magneto very painfully.
45. Any mutants caught terrorizing babysitters for more than 666 days straight will die a painful shade of death.
46. If kittens explode, Tabitha will dance on colorful rugs from noon till she dismembers at least two gerbils... probably.
47. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious will cause many mutants from Alberta to become balloons of passion and therefore should often be sold to Logan.
48. Rahne must dance "Furry of Lions and Tigers" when bears attack Poindexter gently as they can't do anything perfectly from start to finish.
49. Hank always recites strange Shakespearian quotes.
50. Prank calls by young norms are punishable by sudden bouts of violent instant breakfasts.
51. Training wheels on swords are highly unlikely because Scooter never has any fun with Duncan Matthews.
52. Anyone who pants teachers will have turnips stuck up their rear-ends for pushing out later students into muddy puddles of pudding.
53. Nobody knows where all of Jamie's multiples go when they disappear.
54. Squeaky shoes are prohibited from the were-canine because teeth often leave marks that stain and shred.
55. Mallrats that giggle insanely shall never make friends with different people of non-malling lifestyles.
56. Shapeshifters must give money to their children without any mayonnaise being thrown.
57. Adopted young mutants can't kill while visiting anyone with large feminine bodies or friendly dogs of pain-filled biting teeth.
58. Girls who are called Trish by ditzy peers will annoy many sane persons.
59. Xavier can't play dominoes even with Magneto helping him by cheating and thinking that sex will cure insanity.
60. Sometimes Ororo plays illegal gambling games for no money.
61. The little ostrich that could not dance the Hustle shall fall victim to the raging headless fishsticks.
62. Storm must never blitz Washington with her panties or embarrassing pictures of Nightcrawler's pizza experience.
63. Always wear spandex thongs exclusively.
64. Beast droppings should squish slightly when thrown at popcorn sellers.
65. Bobby must never put cabbages in his underwear.
66. Rahne can't sniff anyone's ravioli of doom.
67. Always throw spinach when confronting salesman Kurt who carries round machine versions of Kitty to use in diverse religions and cults containing death.
68. Professor Xavier mustn't ever win thongs from the god of weather-beaten hobos.
69. Werewolves without cojones and giggle-berries must wear several hula hobos unless thongs and garters boing into muddy ticklejuice.
70. If Scott sings love ballads to disco Stu then Jean will crush his jugular with her hair-straighteners of buggery.
71. One reason that hamburgers disappear with Kurt is his unanticipated appetite.
72. When the Blob eats purple tutus, he invariably ate something that is green with envy.
73. When thongs are flying through Storm's plants, Logan must stop the panty raid.
74. Rahne has always worn different thongs and when she wears something different naturally it affects Kurt and causes family-friendly affairs.
75. Jamie is *never* allowed in tutus.
76. Cannonball flies through lots of trees while listening to yodeling techno music and other disastrous songs.
77. Freddy can roam free.
78. Jamie and thongs must dominate the Bob.
79. Ghosts eat only small insects with mustard and Logan's socks.
80. Amanda should lose anything that is related to the small bit of several moldy crackers.
81. Hank only roars when Logan tries twiddling the beakers in the kitchen.
82. Beware the lizard-thingy when blood is spilled.
83. If Evan has milk, then belches, everyone must kick him.
84. Lockheed never bites any mutants from the bra-maker's shop in the bum.
85. Should the Impossible Brothers star in pornography, all viewers would drool.
86. Tragic eating habits of Toad should be banned.
87. Names of secret pasta places will not taste like chicken.
88. All wolves wear several burrs tangled in their fur.
89. Multiple-clones created cold food for Kurt.
90. Platypus will never allow rabid chipmunks to maim Rahne.
91. When sleeping elves dream, don't wake them up with cold paint.
92. Dancing Morlocks should never eat Bobby Drake.
93. Pyro dances the rumba with flamethrowers.
94. Should Evan masturbate to Jean's web cam, Kurt freaks out.
95. Logan's claws perforate lots of beer barrels.
96. If Kitty and Tabby simultaneously ate twenty tuna fish sandwiches in the danger zone in one go, Kurt would never leave Kitty alone.
97. Professor Logan teaches art with Ororo in finger-painting.
98. In Bayville, dancing is outlawed for certain vague reasons, like that last earthquake caused at the last party Fred tried to crash dummies into Principal Kelly while putting on his toe-warmers since Kelly has just cut off funding to heat the dance hall.
99. Blushing Kitties are cute and purring but Kurtis are even cuter than fluffy.
100. Ten cats pogo-sticking upon Logan's motorcycle will die laughing.
101. If the X-Men ran from Todd's pink tutu of butterfly carcasses flaking off, then Lance would scream like a young tadpole.
102. Coughing toads always spit on Pietro's clean record albums.
103. Kurtty fics should always feature fluffy WAFF moments with lots of smut, or, failing that, chaste fluff goodness.
104. Worshipping Warren and InterNutter is an acceptable lifestyle for everyone.
105. Bouncing Toads are to be passively beaten and ignored by the all-Logan Team Dingleberry.
106. Fanfiction should never allow squicky plotbunnies to breed, so they don't manifest really incoherent plots.
107. Morlocks are prevented from eating small children.
108. If major earthquakes fail to destroy socks or Logan's ears, they will make Jean's head become enlarged like Blob's stomach.
109. Red-haired mutants almost look like each other and freak out young children from Alaska.
110. Bunnies are troublesome if not appeased.
111. Turning Kurt into female can't be very healthy for anyone's state of mind.
112. Plucking fuzzy elves should not be attempted by anyone short of professional.
113. Kurtty is the couple of choice.
114. Lancitty shouldn't be written ever by sane authors.
115. Whipped cream is very illegal to use as a weapon in Danger Room sessions.
116. Drinking milk without straws near Logan could result in a painful removal of privileges or vital organs.
117. Should Evan ever not get his just desserts, he will be either non-existent or dead.
118. Nicknames for couples should never be cheesy or positively misspelled.
119. Putting Logan in the same room twice with spaghetti and toothpaste makes Ororo faint with shock.
120. Ray can't play baseball without using butter-greased cookie cutters.
121. Colorful paints are only to annihilate things named Evan.
122. When Fred sings in Gilbert & Sullivan, "I am pretty, oh, my thongs are often not even brown", then people flee rapidly.
123. The G-strings of guitars are uncomfortable with no one who can dance unless heavily weighed wrong.
124. If Kurt can't eat anything with packaging that is made of nuclear waste.
125. Should anyone find Rahne's stash of beer nuts, then light punishment will ensue.
126. Genuflecting before a cairn will raise power.
127. Cows teach trig to monkeys when snow turns purple over top of the Professor's bald head.
128. Forge's slang is horrifying when compared to unusual life styles of British amphibians.
129. When Kitty phases through warning signs, big disasters usually occur.
130. Hamsters attack suddenly and violently, resulting in massive sprays of ketchup.
131. Watching "Xena" causes mass hallucinations and fanboy delight.
132. Anime versions of Kurt better be bishy!
133. Turning Rogue must never EVER include pink stuffed bunnies or frogs of doom.
134. All brainless jocks are to be disposed of.
135. Anthro Kitty terrifies and scares Pietro. He likes to sulk more than Beast's phenomenal intellectual capacity is able to crack or understand.
136. Beauty is in Kurt's soul for his tail is more twitchy than when Jean flirts a lot with tutus.
137. When "Beauty and the Beast" is on, Scott teases Kurt and Kitty.
138. Warren preens his wings while singing in the mirror.
139. Bleach never should be drunk or inhaled because it can dissolve important internal organs into liquid mush.
140. The nurse must never ask to touch many of X23's shows.
141. Naked mutants should always smear chocolate all over their toes or the rest of their bodies.
142. Whipped cream is to be used for dessert enemas.
143. Logan must never ever find out about Ray's secret stash of hard liquor.
144. Using Kitty's cooking to repel fleas works only when it is cooked for long periods of time under intense temperatures.
145. Porting and gymnastics should always be done without supervision but only with purple pants which are made from dead flowers.
146. When Hank eats peanut brittle, it always ends adventures in his fur.
147. Watching Logan bathe in the lake is tantamount to leaping off tall buildings.
148. Near Xavier's school there are centaurs visiting fuzzy, fluffy elves during all arvo.
149. Amara sells relics or junk in garage sales.
150. Rahne has not cut Evan in the lunchline since he initiated the countdown to the noodle incident.
151. Dressing dragly can have Logan castrated or sent owls to fly castle only when it's Lord of the Rings movie night.
152. When ill, Kurt should stay put in the medbay, like he's glued to his bed.
153. Saturdays are dangerous because of hyper teenaged mutants named Jamie.
154. Never taunt Sabertooth unless Logan's already saving potatoes for no real reason.
155. Kitty detests finding an icy Kurt.
156. Neko stalks unsuspecting elves whilst dancing the tango.
157. Cats always eat Kurt's shorts when in the bedroom of doom-laden gnomes.
158. Rock bands named "The Festering Boils" are to not be listened to ever on pain of death dealers.
159. Jamie multiplies excessively whenever Bluebelle is in the immediate vicinity.
160. Hess is to be killed or any bystander enemas.
161. Logan dresses in tutus because typos often appear when he edits his poems.
162. Project Weapon X has always been quite successful in creating psychotic hairy killers.
163. When washing, Logan starts scribbling with what looks to be something resembling a rather large piece of pie with whipped tofu on.
164. During training, the Amazing Nightcrawler must be in the buff.
165. Pietro and Evan must be separated while kept in the same sweltering room of things like bunnies.
166. Chocolate makes Roberto gain hyperactive tendencies; therefore Ororo must use spatulas to restrain him from eating Wolverine.
167. Basketball is silly for training unless Amara is angry.
168. Stupid football players never use protection when running away during rampant elephants.
169. If St. John does acrobatics without first asking God why, he'll then be unable to perform.
170. The Danger Room tends to be destroyed every nighttime by X-Men in dire pies.
171. Babies should stay parked in their golf carts, away from any females or males that phase when wielding tutus.
172. Evil Kurts don't exist in any universe.
173. Kitty purrs only when her stereotyping gets out of control.
174. Blue elves are cute but not evil.
175. Crunchy muffins are most likely made by nutty Kitty.
176. Reading books written by Kurt is a must.
177. During ice storms, fuzzy geckos appear rather suddenly when they sing operas in falsetto German voices.
178. Saturdays come with deliveries of chocolate.
179. Hot potatoes dripping from melting cheese are yummy.
180. Friday evenings are always welcomed, Matt.
181. Teleporting while eating is usually not Super Happy Fun unless considered; an elephant parts the crowd in any and all situations.
182. While playing hide'n'seek, Kurt always cheats horrendously.
183. Doors tend to creak if not oiled every millennia.
184. Neopets can't hold a piece of Twinkie compared to the size of the NutBoard personality.
185. Submarines are the perfect place for meltdown.
186. If Rogue eats Kurt's tail blood... spork out, dude.
187. Cats never dance except when happy.
188. Scott is actually an alien - watch out!
189. When dragons named Puff arrive, run for your lives, pathetic mortal stoners.
190. Forums are fun and unmoderated for diverse reasons that shall not be listed here.
191. Churches are part and parcel of Kurt's childhood.
192. Quicksilver loves drinks featuring sugar-frosted rims and very gaudy umbrellas which can explode and make blackened marks on the wall like Scribbler's computer.
193. Margarine is not supposed to be used as guided missiles while Callisto is in town and vengeful.
194. Evil mutants are not to be confused with Magneto.
195. New episodes are rare and precious, so enjoy when you can.
196. Marijuana is Scott's drug for several reasons, which include his habit of eating Kitty's cooking.
197. Following Logan can end your social life because of Jamie's tutu.
198. Catching an eating Kurt makes an excellent blackmail for dieticians who treat Kitty.
199. During Apocalypse's lifetime teens were taken away by their bogeymen if they ever use strawberry milkshake containers.
200. Fluffy elves wearing slippers should always sing "Ob-la-di" in the kitchen in German but if they eat lots of yummy burgers with ketchup.
201. The Institute is really big and compared to the rest of the surrounding countryside is small.
202. Birthdays for Kurt are supposed to include pin-the-tail-on-the-Hess or other such fun games.
203. Watching showering golden Kurts can be hazardous to brains and potatoes.
204. Visitors must never pretend to steal Xavier's chair's wheels for reasons pertaining to unusual practical penguin named Pen-pen for some reason for Magneto's 'stuff'.
205. Wanda really loves her teddy when she eats chocolate bubbles.
206. If any of your friends explode while watching Evolution then run like mad towards safety, a.k.a. your computer, and pray for their souls.
207. Following these rules will be punished by lessons of pain and sever their Internet connection is broadband thus their ending lives.
208. While Amanda finds pinecones, Kurt ogles her as subtly as possible.
209. Siblings like Kurt and Rogue never argue over panties, unlike the Xavier brothers.
210. When Irish mutants sing the American anthem, they must be on something illegal, like illegal drugs packaged by hookers that know clientele with many hands that can do many things.
211. Senator Kelly shouldn't have spoken anything about the mutants from New Jersey.
212. Bobby sucks ice-blocks when stressed about exams or Logan's training regimes.
213. Thanksgiving should have St. John's ambulance number upon the X-Van running just because emergencies can happen.
214. Newbies have to wear purple socks in crowds so they will stand out in the crowd.
215. Photocopies of Bobby's underpants should be distributed amongst the student body to incur bets from all the female population as blackmail for Iceman.
216. Pietro likes to run around stark naked.
217. Calling a mutant anything resembling 'mutie' will result in non-painful but fatal shorts from "Crossroads" starring Duff Man.
218. Drinking Logan's beer mixed with Hank's Twinkies will result in getting hit by gangsters with marshmallow gloves.
219. Quicksilver has wet gloves from handling snow, so he shouldn't throw snowballs at night; and he hits on Rogue, therefore Remy will maim him if he so much as breathes on Jubilee's socks.
220. Mister Kelly is a mutant puppy.
221. Flying United States is quite impossible because countries can't fly - duh.
222. Listening for Santa is only to remain a habit of the Professor's.
223. The Scottish island Muir is home to Rahne, Moira, and Kevin.
224. Warren has issues because of Christmas tree tops that hurt when he sits on the pine needles that are sharp like swords with big long points with little drops of acid.
225. Confusion flourishes daily at six o'clock Greenwich Mean Time when posters of all of the levels underneath the names of the old mutants like Logan and random others do things.
226. Singing in Rogue's armpits is not nice to send nasty thingies up Charles's nose or someone's left ear because it will cause stupidness rains supreme when Kurt runs from Lance naked as he cannot eat vegemite on toast.
227. Moondreamers are invited to all dances. When Xavier attacks Earth everyone should run to Magneto's hideout and cower in tinfoil hats under the sofa with fear oozing from their pores.
228. Ponies can cause extreme insanity when chewing tobacco and weetbix.
229. Elf fur clogs the shower drain every time sewage attacks unsuspecting mutant bystanders.
230. Beware the umbrella-wielding drunks; celebrate Arbor Day every six years.
231. Do the elephants jump left over pots of vegemite? Maybe.
232. Ororo taunts Raven with a wobbly chair.
233. Pizza-eating contests end messily if Freddy smears cheese over Amara's hair.
234. Students should not watch strippers ice-skating with turkeys unless Sam tickles Rahne with feathers that are plucked off of Warren's wings.
235. Babies that puke all over Logan are not his favorite target to babysit.
236. Squeaky hinges attract many furry blue mutants seeking silver spoons and sporks for maiming random idiots such as Pietro or Agatha.
237. Elizabeth II isn't a healthy name for that crazy thingie with pink tutus.
238. "Cats" was Logan's worst flavour of ice-cream that smells like litter when it is smelling very rancid.
239. Juggernaut kisses plants named Cissy when he plays Mozart or Strauss while kneeling reverently before a smiley face poster.
240. Imp-kittens play with little people who can't dance well enough for cheerleading tryouts.
241. Security alarms are bad but people who install pants are odd enough.
242. Spardels stare into Rammstein's weird little gun holsters and at shoes with yogurt colored green.
243. The rules of the Institute should nag Xavier and toy with his over-large mind.
244. Chainsaws are sharpened by cod until newts sing about women weaving.
245. Gypsies always take fourteen mutants along when fire forces mutants away from their families and loved ones.
246. Overexcited puppies are messy because they love Senator Kelly unconditionally.
247. Movie night happens only twice per month because Forge unexpectedly reworked their noodles because Bolivian appliances were mysteriously used for evil.
248. Sabertooth cleans Wolverine's underpants by scrubbing with milk.
249. Roberto sulks daily because his room is always dark and smelly like baby poop.
250. Jubilee likes shopping at Constantinople, not the local junkyard.
251. French pretzels should not be melted because of Alex and Scott's shared powers phenomenon.
252. Nicknames like Elfy or Wild Blue Yonder Boy won't be tolerated when Tabby exited the building at nine o'clock in the morning.
253. Lightheaded curryhouses gasp in caves because Freddy eats their Vindaloo sloppily and they multiply like pez dispensers.
254. Serbian nomads should never sing ballads with their knickers in a lake or volcano because it smells fishy and not flowery.
255. Shoving Pietro down the slide backwards into Lance is not appreciated by anyone within hearing range.
256. Wanda likes fuzzy dice and peculiar green mutants.
257. Jubilee mustn't use her womanly assets to injure sensitive male equipment however she desires.
258. Rahne always chases butter thongs, while stealthily chasing cats is fun.
259. Adamantium skeletons make Logan pissed when Magneto rips it out of him using his powers.
260. Kitchens eat lots of oatmeal when horses come and go.
261. Turbans represent other people's personalities and feet that don't juggle.
262. Beans are magical fruit that Kurt throws at people like Mags that happen to hate norms.
263. Turnips suck because they are bitter.
264. People should remove themselves from Logan's presence before he impales them with infected Q-tips.
265. Smilies aren't really that bad when used like this: :6
266. Mirrors don't break really small rules because Soya is humane to them for some reason.
267. Grease is the word for coolness and insanity because of various numbers that are greater than the sum of muffins.
268. Cannons explode when Logan packs them with pieces that melt in your fireplace because hedgehogs are mildly amusing when dogs bark sometimes during foreplay.
269. No one must annoy me during dinner because Rogue cries when you touch her pork-chop pieces with monkeys.
270. Rogue sulks when you scrape Jamie's shoes with bubblegum.
271. When elephants find red bits that sparkle for happles.
272. Swords can hurt soft fruit on Mondays and on Sundays with the magic sprinkles on blood.
273. Flying camels hit lots of target balloons because of crazy things made of cheese.
274. When Lizzie MacGuire is on, slippers are thrown at the television because goats are pointy during 4-H Fairs and foul play is always unacceptable.
275. Trigun crossovers rock.
276. Bratwursts are nice when Kurt's tail doesn't poke Logan.
277. Pointy objects that stab peanuts are not lickable because vegemite is nummy only if made with carrots and mashed Swedes, duh.
278. If Gambit ever drops his shades, people might scream loudly because she is sexy and strangely yummy with chocolate bits of female things.
279. Flying objects always hit Kitty on bits that are female.
280. Insane scientists are dingleberries who have no dingly parts that can be used in strange circumstances until things fall off of some different mutants.
281. Questionable rules written while online can drive people insane with envy.
282. Chocolate sauce - yummy!
283. That time which is spent unloved, teddy, will be reimbursed for lots of cheese.
284. Peoples of Albania didn't like potatoes so instead we are feeding on radioactive peanuts which like meatballs.
285. That crazy Kurt never pays any attention when Kitty slips off onto Evan's bed where bad things copulate using differing blunt objects that dance around live rats.
286. Who knows what Spanish dances can mess up when the bright light of brightness shines dimly making stuff eat bad mushrooms.
287. Golden-brown fungi are poisonous but yummy vegetables that eat other vegetables.
288. Purple sprouts are not edible despite Fred's hunger for sugar-coated pasta sauce.
289. Xavier, formerly known as Good-Time Baldy, is squeeing because Logan hit cabbages with ping-pong paddles lovingly.
290. Gnarly Charlie rides motorbikes while playing with ugly monkeys and so he always looks ecstatic.
291. Weather witches don't cast shadows even when the lemmings whom she adores scurry suicidally towards cliffs.
292. All mutants shall eat gooseberries because I said so.
293. Singing cats hate Evan very much.
294. Always look before you streak.
295. Teleporting without pants is never a good thought in Peanut World because everyone will eat you.
296. Should Mystique dance like a dying swan? Because her panties are nonexistent and I want to make her dance sexily.
297. Metal shoes are killers of the feet fungi.
298. The elastic pants of Fred are exhausted and overused, of course.
299. Using teaspoons for evil is not smart on Sundays or any days that Rogue is resurrected on.
300. Silver costumes are tackier than Fred with pyjamas eating orange peels with Marmite on toast while singing Hallelujah.
301. I'm never going to love again because of Toad's vinegar addiction.
302. Toothpaste tastes horrible when mixed with Kitty's mascara but nice if mixed with pie.
303. Mystique loves butts that are not painted polka-dot patterns because when they invert colours through space manipulation then she tattoos Nightcrawler on derrieres while singing nursery rhymes at enemies sneaking around Fred's garage.
304. Never wear cabbage if Logan's pants are on.
305. Rainy scenarios that involve clothing are fruity-tooty when rabbits kill Jamie's seagull pets.
306. Rogue must fly like potatoes only baked not fried but painted carrots mustn't jump higher than Toad.
307. Dancing with Wolverine during Prom Thursday always results in Kitty baking bouncy muffins.
308. At school quickies should never involve pudding or cats burping helium and should move pretzels during October especially when Duncan loses his bimbo.
309. When computers fritz underneath lakes it means Amara shall clean Scott's convertible with pliers from China or underwear that isn't clean because Forge is lazy because nobody cares.
310. Cheese mustn't be sliced by Evan if Wolverine sees it happen.
311. Colossus must skate West into Magneto because Kitty hates it when he doesn't.
312. The second coming of borscht isn't foretold to penguins for many giraffes would deny loving Magneto balloons made of titanium so they hurt blue Phoenix's eyes.
313. Chairs only levitate when girls eat baklava with ketchup while dancing to "Bohemian Rhapsody" of course.
314. Phasing through Wolverine's motorcycle can ignite Armageddon.
315. Scott can't drink beer without tripping over his own butt and making Jamie fart.
316. Sneezing elves gather moss on Kurt's tail because it's not as dexterous as growing on ears.
317. Cartwheels are mandatory when St. John vows love on May Day while Amara fries pancakes from Hell.
318. Detention really sucks when Pietro smooches Toad especially after eating pie.
319. Professor Xavier should polish several bald hamsters for Tuesday's special buffet with jellyfish jam.
320. Evil llamas are koalas in pajamas of cool pink plaid with green sequins of course.
321. Bobby has pink fluffy socks under his pillow which are scented like chocolate-coated fudge.
322. Telephones can't reply loudly enough when explosions rock Tabitha's bedroom.
323. Mystique's wardrobe has pleather malfunctions on its booties after Wolverine stabbed rapidly into flan.
324. Daylight breaks only if dropped by Jean when Taryn kisses Scott.
325. The Velocity explodes exclusively after landing in sewage from tunnel rodents in Nebraska of all places.
326. Telepathic worms wiggle freakishly when slurped by Blob.
327. Scott's sweaters are itchy because frogs salivate saliva like crazy on them.
328. Posters have lots of sparkly mutants tape on them because gooey glue covers them.
329. Snarling bunnies never ravage young hedgehogs after xylophones discover a disgusting pile of chipmunks engaged in boardgames like Sorry.
330. The worst thing about team mates is their rancid tealeaves that melt latex.
331. Never let Jamie split twenty dollars with Lance.
332. Teleporting cars inside the gymnasium isn't quite as smart as teleporting elephants into the bathroom.
333. Taking money from Scott's purse whilst Kurt jiggles Kitty's left earring is totally bizarre to comprehend.
334. When pigs don't fly under the radar teachers get annoyed and fail students cruelly.
335. Nighttime descends over the motorcycle rally as motorcycle repairers repair motorcycles.
335. Ducks shouldn't eat bread with wine that's been aged past 1745, or cheese that is green and giving off an aura of stink like a decaying, rancid, slimy, putrid toad.
336. Acolytes should seek proctologists for anything that feels like icky, slimy, putrid bowels full of gunk and phlegm.
337. When wallets get blown apart, mutants get jittery and unstable in the bladder because wet pants aren't so great.
338. Mutants tumble-dry their shoes after killing Lance with boulders and sticks of mahogany.
339. Heads roll after Wanda casts hex bolts in the bathtub which Toad is using.
340. Cult mutants are always in cups, bras, hats, suspenders, jackets, cows, high skirts, dentures, fake legs, steel tap clogs, giant lederhosen, and glow-in-the-dark socks.
341. Toenails love being themselves or other toenails such as trash-cans, toenails, boats, and fingernails when chickens dance the trash-cans.
342. Chinese trash-cans roll over other people's lilies and fries which have been squashed already.
343. Jalapenos from Mars get eaten by Kurt.
344. Wanda needs hydrogen and helium for reading heavy balloons because none pop unless they drink hydrochloride.
345. Tongue sandwiches are beloved by Todd.
346. Duncan killed Duncan after everybody paralyzes Principal Kelly bashing.
347. French mutants swear that cheese loves mold on itself because moldy tomatoes aren't as awesome.
348. Ceramic gnomes sing only when Rahne cartwheels under the moon.
349. New watermelons never lose people's jewelry during firework finales unless they can't find their own bananas and pineapples or trashcans.
350. Without sparrows, worlds wouldn't collide through vacuums in time and Vodka.
351. Cowardly lions and brainless furry foods eat Star Wars collectibles and Wookie hair.
352. Homestar Runner was beaten and shaved with a disease-bearing werewolf eating daggers with blood encrusted on the hilt.
353. Then you